


Lucibirb

by Lookatallmyships



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sam Winchester is So Done, Shh, bird!Lucifer, crackish, i don't know where in canon this would go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 15:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14138775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookatallmyships/pseuds/Lookatallmyships
Summary: Lucifer gets turned into a Cockatoo, and Sam is saddled with babysitting duty.





	Lucibirb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [god](https://archiveofourown.org/users/god/gifts).



> I was sitting with my own asshole bird, and I called her a tiny Satan. Cue about three seconds of consideration, and then I was writing down this prompt to go back and write later. And now here we are.

 

Circumstances that Sam’s not even pretending he begins to understand, have resulted in Lucifer being temporarily stuck as a bird. A cockatoo, Cas helpfully supplied when all he received was blank. All Sam knows, it that Lucifer is somehow even more of an asshole in bird form, and cockatoos are fucking loud.

 

Sam trudges down the street. “Why do I have to take you with me? Why can’t Cas poof you somewhere he can keep you contained?”

 

Lucifer squawks unhelpfully. Somehow he manages to sound smug, and Sam swears he’s not just projecting his own feelings. If anyone could express emotion through animal noises, it would be an Archangel.

 

Sam winces, and keeps trudging down the street. Dean and Castiel are back at the hotel setting up the first part of the ritual needed to summon some witch who’s been wreaking havoc on the town, and they didn’t trust Lucifer not to mess it up. Sam’s job is to go pick up the rest of the supplies they’re lacking. Down town is a little apothecary, run by a woman who is known to sell supplies to hunters.

 

“When we get there, you’re not going to cause a scene, right? Because this is the only place anywhere near here that sells silver filings“

 

Lucifer cocks his head to the side, and makes a quizzical trilling sound.

 

“Don’t even. Cas told us that you’re still you in there.” Sam grumbles. Unfortunately. It would be a lot easier if they could just stick him in a bird cage until this whole witch thing was over. Sam ducks his head, and hurries on a little faster. Apparently walking down the street with a giant Snow White parrot drew a lot of attention, who knew?

 

Lucifer suddenly squawks loudly and flaps his wings, nearly over balancing Sam for a moment.

 

Sam’s about to turn and glare at him, when a young lady comes running over.

 

“Aww, your bird is so cute! What’s it’s name?”

 

Sam groans inwardly, but he turns around. “Ah... his name is Lucy.” Alright honest enough. “He’s not my bird though, I’m just watching him for a friend.”

 

Lucifer puffs up the long feathers on his head, and the girl grins.

 

“He’s so adorable! I’ve never seen a bird this big in person before.” She laughs at herself. “Well besides at the zoo.”

 

Sam smiles wryly. “Believe me, neither had I.”

 

She fumbles around in her bag, and pulls out a cellphone. “Do you think I could take a picture with you guys for my blog?”

 

Sam takes a moment to pray that Lucifer doesn’t decide to bite the girl, and then shrugs. “Sure, why not?”

 

She beams and stands on Sam left, the side that Lucifer is on.

 

Sam watches in annoyance as Lucifer fluffs up his feathers and cuddles up to the side of the girl’s face, the only part he can reach with how tall Sam is.

 

She shows Sam the picture at thanks him before skipping off to wherever she had been originally headed, and Sam shakes his head.

 

“So you’re a dick to me and Dean, but pretty girls are ok?”

 

Lucifer bites Sam on the earlobe, and chirps happily.

**Author's Note:**

> I think there are different kinds of cockatoos, but here's what I was picturing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz9SDN3SCR4


End file.
